It’s that time of year again where everyone is making lists of “BEST ALBUMS OF 2013” or “THINGS I’M THANKFUL FOR IN 2013” etc., etc. etc. Don’t get me wrong, I have more than plenty things that I’m thankful for and my own opinions on the best released albums of 2013. But, I also have things that I wish I could go back in time and tell myself over the course of the past year. So here it goes, my own recap of the past year.
Things I Wish I Knew a Year Ago:
- The things you say and do when you’re feeling sorry for yourself are probably selfish.
Therefore either feel sorry for yourself as infrequently as possible or don’t make any important decisions while in that state of mind.
- Stop waiting on people.
I know you like to believe that your life is a Young Adult Book or a romantic comedy, but babe, it’s not. People more than likely aren’t going to wake up one day and realize that they love you or that they made a mistake in breaking up with you. The same goes for people who simply don’t like you as a person. It happens. You annoy some people. Some people are jealous of you. And vice versa. It’s not the end of the world. So don’t wait on anyone to come around and decide to change their feelings towards you one way or another. You’re wasting your time.
- PAY YOUR PARKING TICKETS.
Or better yet, stop being lazy and park somewhere that you can’t get a parking ticket. I know it’s a longer walk but it will be worth it when you don’t get your car towed one day.
- Don’t do anything that you can’t tell your best friends about.
Anything that you have to keep a secret from the people who love you the most (unless it’s their surprise birthday party) is a bad idea.
- Quit your job at the beginning of the summer.
They’re going to fire you at the end of the summer anyways. You’ll always regret not being there the entire week your best friend’s mom died to hold her hand and the two weeks you could have spent at the beach with your family and not being able to be at the hospital as much as you would have liked while your mom was there. You’re unhappy anyways, so just go ahead and quit the first time you want to.
- The people overly concerned with your past have no place in your future.
Anyone who is constantly bringing up mistakes you made in the past simply has no business being a big part of your life. Reminiscing does not count. I mean the people who are trying to make you feel bad about things that happened in the past. The past is the past for a reason and those people need to remain in it.
- Stop spending so much money.
Seriously, that dress you spend a hundred bucks on that you don’t even really like but it’s on sale? You never wear it. And that money should be going into your savings account or at least your checking account. Save as much money as you can instead of spending it on things that you don’t really like or care about.
- Say no sometimes.
I know you hate telling people no and want to please everyone but sometimes it’s better to say no. Especially when it’s something you don’t really want to do, or can’t afford to do, or know you won’t actually be able to do. I promise people will still like you if you tell them you can’t attend dinner at a restaurant out of your price range. Everyone knows you’re broke and jobless. They won’t hold it against you. But they will begin to hold it against you if you continue to be a flake. Honesty is the best policy.
- Pay attention to who actually cares about you and who just wants attention.
There’s a quote that goes something along the lines of “there are people who actually care about what’s wrong, everyone else is just curious.” Be wary of this. Actions really do speak louder than words and those who actually care will physically be there as much as they can.
- Ask for help and accept help when it’s offered.
Everyone struggles and needs a little assistance now and then. Use the resources you have. Don’t stop taking your meds for a few days just because you feel like it. Don’t be scared to tell people how low you are feeling. When people offer their assistance, take it. They’ll feel happy that they can help you and you will feel relieved that they’re there.
- Know the difference between kind people and nice people.
There are lots of people in your life who are kind but not particularly nice and there are also lots of people in your life who are nice but not particularly kind. Figure out who is who. Kindness is more important than niceness in terms of people who are steadfast figures in your life.
- The first time it falls apart let it.
Holding onto a relationship and trying to salvage it just because of what it once was is never worth it. It will cause you greater heartbreak about a month later when it falls apart for good. The moment you realize it’s not working and isn’t going to work, be honest with yourself about it. You know deep down it’s not who or what you want. You’re not a failure because yet another relationship didn’t work out.
- Immediately get rid of people who say things to make you feel less than you are.
And I don’t mean with a gun. The second anyone refers to you as a “slut,” “crazy” or “bitch,” kick them out. Unless it’s one of your best friends and they’re joking. These are derogatory terms and you are none of those things. Don’t believe the person who tells you that you are these things for a second. And please, please, walk away right then.
While I believe things happen for a reason and things tend to play out how they should in the scheme of things, I also believe that happiness is everything and that maybe if I knew these things in retrospect I could have been scores happier. With that said, with all the mistakes I made and things I wish I could change from the past year, I am extremely happy with where I am now. Well minus the fact that I’m still somewhat jobless and living at home, I’m still happy with who I am and the people that I have in my life. So thank you Universe for getting me here.